Natural Hair Talk

I have natural hair texture privilege.

Please let that statement sink in for a moment. To further explain, my hair when soaking wet and dry is naturally curly without any product. It morphs into a curly afro that always elicits compliments. My hair is afro textured but falls under the curly end of the spectrum in which it's labeled the "good grade" of hair. I don't ever recall in my childhood having been mocked for my hair, teased, or ridiculed. In fact, all my life my hair was praised and admired by everyone, especially the Black women in my family. All the same while, cursing their own hair and considering it unruly. Now this is not to say I never had my own hair problems. I do remember at one point begging for a relaxer in the 6th grade because I wanted long straight hair like all the other girls in my class. I am thankful to this day that a good friend dissuaded me from doing, so I was never initiated into the relaxed hair circle as the other Black girls my age were. However, this did not stop me years later from severely damaging my hair due to my increasing addiction to my newly fangled flat iron. So yes, even with all the adoration and compliments from everyone around me, growing up for years I still had daily battles with my hair.

  

However, even with my own hair battles, I have always known, even more so now, that I have hair texture privilege in the natural hair community. I hear comments from other Black women complimenting my hair not for it's hairstyle, but its defined curls. Usually in the same sentence lamenting their own kinky hair. This observation is important to mention because of the increasingly prominent position curly hair has as the face of the natural hair movement. While Black women with napps, kinks, and poofs are pushed further back as secondary or non existent. Black women with kinky hair are not glorified and exalted in the same manner as curly hair is in advertisements and online communities such as YouTube, pinterest, and Tumblr. The same can be said in real life surrounding conversations on natural hair. I watch the way some YouTube beauty gurus lament over not having defined curls or hair resembling the actress Tracee Elliss Ross. I understand it, I really do, but I am here to say natural Black hair, the curls AND the kinks are lovely and divine. I used to be offended when my hair was not seen as Black enough because it was that "good grade of hair." Someone was always commenting on how I must have Indian somewhere in my family. I'm no longer offended, but deeply saddened on such comments but more understanding of where that line of thinking originates from.


Natural Black hair in its afro textured state is not a curse or a flaw. Rather, it is a gift and it is beautiful, period, point blank! The whole point of the natural hair movement was to learn to love, embrace, celebrate, grow, and have pride in an honest and positive manner, specifically for kinky textured natural hair. Now that I am more aware, I make it a point to always compliment Black women on their hairstyles, never emphasizing curl texture. I always talk with little Black girls about their hair on how wonderful, lovely, and unique it is. I share tips that I've gathered from books and internet sites to family, friends, and strangers on properly caring for and growing natural hair. However, most importantly, I monetarily support quality Black women owned hair care lines and businesses that use healthy and non-curl obsessed ads that exalt both kinky and curly natural hair as beautiful and lovely. So here is my tribute to lovely Black women in their natural tresses curls AND kinks.

 


 

   

   

That Girl Challenge Update

Sooooo I started the That Girl Challenge nearly two years ago with a nice list of what I hope to accomplish in this challenge. Well I will surely admit that it was a total bust. But it's a new start and a new year... I am still young and can turn things around. So here is my update to my that girl challenge and how I go about accomplishing this. 

Skincare Game on Point

Skincare Products

Cleanse (Aveeno Foaming Cleanser)

Toner (Rosewater)

Serum (Snail Bee High Content Essence)

Moisturizer (Cetaphil Daily Moisturizer)

Fade Cream (Ambi Fade Cream,Vicco Turmeric Cream)

Sunblock (Nuetrogena Ultrasheer 30+ Sunblock)

Occasionally exfoliate (Alba Botanica Scrub)

My Skincare routine is tailored to adjust all my skincare needs. All products are to help erase my dark acne scars, even and brighten my skin tone, and provide a youthful glow. So the basic skincare routine is to cleanse, tone the skin, use a serum for evening and brightening, a moisturizer to seal and provide supple skin, fade cream to fade dark scars and evening the skin. Sunblock as a last step, to protect the skin from the damaging effects of sun rays. 

I'm Painting My Face

Makeup Arsenal

Primer (Black Radiance Primer)

Foundation (Lancome Teint Idole Ultra 24hr)

Powder (Too Faced Pressed Powder)

Blush (Wet n Wild Mellow Pink)

Contour kit (Sleek, optional)

Eyeliner (Wet n Wild Liquid Eyeliner)

Mascara (Maybelline Colossal Volume Express) 

Lip liner (Mac Cork Lipliner)

Lipstick  (Nude/Revlon Mink Pink)

For the past few years I've been trying out different brands of foundation and powders and experimenting with my makeup techniques. I'v settled into a nice set look and I seem to be receiving compliments all the time from family and friends. I like to call my makeup addiction face painting or putting on my face in the morning, LOL. It's a wonderful art form that adds a touch of luxury to my morning rituals. My everyday makeup routine is a uniform look I've perfected to achieve the look of nice skin and bright big eyes. I use foundation to even my skin tone and conceal my dark marks. For my eyes I create a thin winged line for eyeliner and volumizing mascara to create larger doll like eyes. I just started dabbling in blush and contour powders and I just have to say how much I love these powders as they bring so much life to the face. Pink blush makes my cheeks really rosy and contour powder helps to sculpt my baby cheeks.

Haircare Game on Point

Haircare

Prepoo overnight coconut oil (irregular)

Shampoo twice twice a week

Deep condition protein/moisture twice a week

Moisturize and seal every two or three days

My hair has definitely come a long way, but boy have I had some serious setbacks. I want to say with definite confidence heat is the devil but we are still good friends. So I have just come to terms that I use heat sparingly and I will purchase only high end quality straighteners. I've recently found a set hairstyle that fits my oval face graciously. Half up ponytail half down twistout with a side part of bangs (twists). Side part bangs frame my face really well more so than no bangs. I sometimes change my hair products and try out new ones but I do have a few holy grail items that I keep in regular rotation. Holy grail status: Organics Hair Mayonnaise, Coconut Oil, Aussie Moist Deeep Conditioner, and Shea Moisture Shea Butter Conditioner

 Developing Personal Style 

Nine West Open Toe Heeled Ballet Flats

I have finally found my balance between under dressed and overdressed; it's all about the shoes and the lips. In the last few years I began to cultivate a sense of personal style. I have my new go to flats that are not too casual or too dressy but works for almost any event. Just like with my beauty routine my fashion starts with the basics that compliments my figure and style. In partaking upon that girl challenge I've discovered my own personal style that reflects my personality. My style is classic, chic with whimsical notes and I always go for feminine pieces. My body shape is straight so I steer towards outfits that accentuate my waist and I overly indulge in dresses and skirts more than anything. I tend to gravitate towards solid colors, a few prints, mostly neutral colors or one bright statement piece, flare dresses, a line skirts, and kitten heels. 

In keeping up with that girl challenge, I will be updating once a week. Let me know below in the comments if you want beauty and fashion pictures included everytime. Kind of like Oufit Of The Day (OOTD) and Face Of The Day (FOTD)

I Crave Your Mouth

Sonnet XI

“I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.                        

Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.                                  
Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day . I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps.

I hunger for your sleek laugh,
your hands the color of a savage harvest,
hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,
I want to eat your skin like a whole almond.

I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body, the sovereign nose of your arrogant face,
I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes,

and I pace around hungry, sniffing the twilight,
hunting for you, for your hot heart,
Like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue.”

― Pablo Neruda


Commentary:

One of my favorite poems from Pablo Neruda's book, 100 Love Sonnets. Its a poem that I read every so often. I've always wondered what such love is like, to crave the entirety of another being. Consuming the whole of a lover and being driven mad by such emotions. There's a human longing for comfort, a longing for close intimacy, and a longing for an unnerving bond. The hunger in the poet fuels his hunt in turn drives him mad pacing around for his lover's hot heart.

Beauty Culture

Wearing a Bold Lip

Lips are considered the most sensual feature on woman's face. Soft kissable lips are considered feminine and sensual. Pink and red lip colors are often the most enticing lip colors that men are drawn to when noticing a woman. A bold lip alone can be a makeup look unto itself. The act of wearing lipstick in a bold color like red bring about confidence and boost your morale.

The Elegance of Long Manicured Nails

Long manicured nails are seen as feminine and luxurious. A woman's hands if well maintained and properly positioned can be seen as graceful and dainty. Two dance styles that add grace to a woman's movements are belly dance and ballet. From the little knowledge I have of both dance styles a woman's hands must be in line with the general aesthetics so hands must always form a soft shape and not be resting in a pancake form. Whenever I notice a beautiful woman my eyes gravitate towards her hair and then towards her nails. I am seriously a crazy nail fanatic and love seeing women with long well manicured nails. Long nails accentuate the hands and add a sense of luxury to the women's appearance. I personally am not a fan of add on nails and I believe if needed add on nails should be worn for formal occasions rather than on a weekly basis. Nail salons can can relaxing and fun and provide a professional manicure with fun beautiful designs an average nail fanatic can not do. But if not careful relying on salons for nail care can be quite damaging, so it's best to treat nail salons as a treat rather than a need.



The Poetry of  a Dress in Motion

The only good thing about pants on a woman,

 is seeing the shape of her butt.

Otherwise, they look clunky and industrial.

Now a dress... accents her curves....

and flows when she moves.

Poetry in motion.

Isn't that insightful and fascinating? A woman wearing a dress is akin to visual poetry in motion. A woman in a nice pair of jeans can be quite fashionable but a woman in a nice dress is quite stunning. No matter how nice the cut, wash, stitch, or style jeans can never compete on a equal standing with dresses. Dresses enhance and flatter a woman's figure while appearing more fun and flirty. Now I'm not anti jeans to the core, as jeans were once a core staple of my wardrobe. However I like the idea of a wardrobe consisting of 50% dresses and 50% of blouses, skirts, and jeans/pants. This wardrobe formula makes it much more easier to look your best and most feminine self. Dresses also provide a different feeling than when wearing a pair of jeans. A woman in a dress must learn to walk and sit a certain way to keep a fine appearance. Whenever I am wearing a dress I'm almost always mindful of the way I sit and cross my legs or ankles. I carry myself in a certain manner and my posture is almost always better. 


The Everyday Makeup Look

I love the look of subtlety enhanced makeup looks that give a nice warm healthy glow to the face. Makeup skills when executed well can subtlety enhance facial features or completely transform the face in a stunning manner.  Makeup should not give a cakey or a cheap appearance for a woman when its executed well. I consider makeup apart of the beauty arsenal that can help or hinder the woman who chooses to or not to wear makeup. Basic cosmetics can improve every women's looks.The easy basics of  a simple makeup routine usually include: mascara, a little blush, a dab of lipstick, and perhaps a flick of eyeliner. Everyday makeup even the minimal can be just that simple and help to polish a woman's looks.

Please feel free to comment below and subscribe by email. :)

The Radiant Smile of a Carefree Black Girl

Smiling French Singer Inna Modja

A SMILE is one of the most wonderful human expressions one can make. A smile denotes pleasure, happiness, and sociability. In fact smiling provides a positive feedback loop to our brain which generates a more positive feeling from within. So contrary to what some people belief a genuine smile does not show a sign of weakness but rather a powerful gesture when used correctly.

A woman's smile is in fact a powerful gesture that increases happiness within her and towards others. Now to take it a step further, the smile of a carefree Black girl is one of the most pleasing smiles to come across. But wait...what's a carefree Black girl? Per writer Jamala Johns in her fantastic article on Refinery29 Carefree Black Girls, its broken down like this:

Over the last 15 years or so, there’s been a heartening evolution in the works that I’ve been proud to be involved with. A while back, I launched le coil, a curated collection of natural-hair web finds and original photography. The more I worked on it, the more I started to realize that it was helping me explore a facet of the black female experience that went beyond just hair. I noticed that I instinctively leaned more toward more joyful expressions and regal poses, faces basking in natural light, and an overall tone that was warm, relatable, and encouraging. There had been countless conversations with friends where I lamented something along the lines of “I just want to see brown ladies having a delightful time and riding bicycles — and maybe having some brunch.”

Right now with the advent of the internet culture there are new range of ideas and concepts and archetypes. As of now the new archetype I am completely enamored with is the carefree Black girl.
A carefree Black girl is aware of the political and social climate but does not let the negativity consume her or let negative stereotypes define her. So she goes about her day to day being fantastically brown and glowing, enthusiastically happy, wearing her hair proud and crowned in floral headbands, and of course dressed in bright stylish clothing. However for me what tops off the look of a carefree Black girl is the all in the spirit of an authentic smile! When another Black woman smiles all the Brown angels harmonize in union ship. Okay, okay I know I'm being just a tad bit silly or a bit fanatical about smiling but...it's true :) If I was a person to constantly be a consumer of mainstream culture and entertainment you would swear Black women almost never smiled, because according to them Black women mean mug, smirk, nod and salute fists in anger but almost never smile. With the current political and social climate Black women have every right to display a current range of unhappy emotions. But to see Black women still smile through it all day by day and to not constantly wear emotions on our sleeves is a truly wonderful thing. Seeing another smiling carefree Black girl is a like sign your allowed to be stylish and whimsical and just plain awesome basking in your own brown beauty!

The smile of a carefree Black girl will always warm my heart and in turn make me smile :)

 

Pleasing Sights and Pleasing Sounds

I take joy in listening to pleasing music. Pleasing music with a nice melody, a superior sound, instruments harmonizing well, and lovely voices that belt a gracious tune. However, what I take joy in the most are love songs, especially love songs presenting feminine Black women as the leading love interest. :)

What's on My Bookshelf

It has been a while sorry everyone. It's exam season right now so making a full blog post crossed my mind but never actually fictionalized the way I wanted it to. However here is post to detail what's going on with me. By the way I hope everyone's Thanksgiving holiday went well :)

What I am currently reading (in between school books of course)

I have been on a feminine/feminist/luxury kick lately. Anything that alludes to these subjects with words like prestigious, courtesans, femininity, love, lifestyle, and all. So little by little over the past few months I have been collecting (checking out) books from my campus library. Now like a good student I have to have them all read and returned by December 30, 2014. The books on my bookshelf now are going to nurture and nourish me over the winter break.

The first time I heard of Anaïs Nin's diary was on tumblr. Anaïs Nin is regarded as a eroticist and short story writer and gained popularity in the 1960s. From what I am told her best books are her journals. So here I go diving into the depths of the mind of Anaïs Nin. I came across Pablo Neruda by the way of Joan Clayton from the show Girlfriends. I immediately loved him right then and there. Sonnet XI (I crave Your Mouth, Your Voice, Your Hair) is full of wonderful lust and passion, but its so earnest and conceptual. I wonder, at what point in love, must one be to eagerly desire to consume the entirety of another person, (metaphorically of course). I believe arising early in the morning to read a book of Pablo Neruda's poetry is just divine. Nothing starts off a good morning like a good book of poetry and  warm cup of tea.
Diane Von Furstenberg's quotes resonate really very deeply with me. "I didn't always know what I wanted to do, but I knew the kind of woman I wanted to become." "The most important relationship in your life is the relationship you have with yourself. Because no matter what happens, you will always be with yourself." So I had to read her autobiography and find out how Diane became Diane Von Furstenberg. I was told by a friend when observing a guy to pay attention to the liquor he buys and the watches he wears. I don't care for liquor since I hardly ever drink but watches are something special. Why are watches soooo damn expensive. Its all in the timepiece I tell you. Over the summer I went with a friend to the Omega store and stayed for about an hour. It was wonderful just being surrounded by luxurious watches and having the store clerk explain the history of the Omega brand.
Courtesans are the ultimate modern feminist women. They were able to have lives outside of the confinements to the house. They traveled, worked alongside men, sexed men without grief, and were integral to the arts of their culture. I want to learn the ways of a courtesan in regards to seduction, art of good conversation (hence good poetry books), the art of charm, and overall just mastering the arts of capturing and holding a man's interest and desire. However I don't have rose-colored spectacles on, so I'm well aware of what a courtesan was and how they were treated by others in society. A courtesan by definition was(is) an upper class prostitute. At that point int time and history I admire courtesans for what they achieved as women who were straddled with society's constraints. From what I find throughout most of history in majority of documented cultures women who went against the grain were women who made history. Hence why I also have Laurel Thatcher's book in my book shelf.

Of course learning the ways of famous courtesans is apart of learning experience, but what about love? Calling in the One seems to be a promising book to help me open up my heart and let love in. I know sounds very cliche and cheesy right. I actually have faith in this book, because it appears to honestly help women come at peace with herself and be of self-acceptance. With self-acceptance is not much easier to accept good love. It's true "we accept the love we believe we deserve." I know it's an exhaustive list of books, but hey these topics were on my mind. So here's to Winter reading ^_^ Are there any books on your bookshelf that you are itching to read?

Admiring Other Women

"I admire other women's beauty. It makes me want to be the best version of myself."

I read this comment sometime a while ago and it has always stuck with me. Perhaps it is because I so much believe in the truth of it, at least for myself. I have always been amazed and mesmerized by other women's beauty whether it's in her style of dress, her graceful movements, beautification of her hair, etc. all of it reveling in femininity and sensuality. I most wholeheartedly believe in always complimenting other women :) One may never know how far a positive comment may brighten someway's day. In fact its the moments when I feel a bit down and out of place that a compliment by another women lifts my spirits immensely.

Admiring another women's beauty is akin to admiring another flower that has come to full bloom So here is a small collection of women I admire for their beauty, style, and presence. Every time I see such photos I feel even more inspired to adorn my hair in gold trinkets, wear my staple kitten heels, paint my nails a seductive red or a feminine coral pink, mist the air around me in a cloud of sweet perfume, and start the day just right :)

For my readers, are their any pictures of women you admire that makes you want to be the best version of yourself? If so please post away in the 
comments section :)  

Modern Pinup model Angelique Noire

Bollywood actress Aishwarya Rai

Actress Kerry Washington

Gossip Girl Stars Blair & Serena

Actress Madeleine Mantock

Singer Janelle Monae

Silent Film Actress Clara Bow

Brazilian Model Isabel Correa

Singer Corinne Bailey Rae

Black Woman wearing a Turban

Actress Lupita N'yongo