Consistency Makes All the Difference

Consistency makes all the difference in establishing effective habits and accomplishing one's goals. So this year I am establishing daily positive habits and routines that will push me into accomplishing this years goals and furthering my self development.

Fluency in Spanish

I am aiming towards reaching the intermediate level in Spanish. At the moment I can comprehend, and communicate beginners Spanish adequately. However, I need to push my comprehension skills further and absorb the Spanish language at a more accelerated pace. So I will be giving myself a curriculum with flashcards, Spanish textbook, Memrise app, and the Spanish media. A daily study of two hours a day is my daily language goal. Currently at my part time job I am surrounded by Spanish speakers, so immersing myself in the language several hours a day at work will definitely be beneficial for me.

$1000 Emergency Savings Fund

Having an emergency savings for a rainy day is so crucial and fundamental to being an independent adult. Many financial advisers and books I've come across seem to agree having at minimum a $1000 emergency savings is a good starting point. So for this year I will be following a build a $1000 emergency saving challenge that takes 44 weeks. Although this is one year long financial goal, I have several financial habits I want to establish routinely. One habit I am implementing rigorously is staying on budget. Whatever the established rules are I must follow and that includes having to focus on my needs versus my wants. In another blog post I will cover needs versus wants in budgeting. Staying on task with proper budgeting to me means being less of a mindless consumer. There is always going to be new things I want but sometimes you must delay instant gratification for long term satisfaction.

Thriving Blog

My very first published blog post was in January 2014. That was four years ago to be exact! I had so many topics, areas, and ideas I wanted to cover and write about. I still have a plethora of topics I want and will publish in the near future. However I want to see this blog go forward with a specific vision and thrive this year. So going forward I will establish weekly habits to research my blog topics, write, doodle, and plan them, and then publish on a weekly basis. Considering my usual posting style on this blog was not on a consistent basis, this year I am pushing my limits to do much better.

Clear Radiant Skin

Clear radiant skin has always appeared elusive to me due to my acne scarring and hyper pigmentation. This year I am adamant about changing my skin for the better. I've always had a decent skincare routine consisting of cleansing, moisturizing, and the occasional face mask. I love the idea of using both traditional skincare methods such as clay, rosewater, diy natural facial masks, and modern skincare such as advanced sunscreen, chemical peels, and vitamin extracted serums. Nonetheless, this year I am in the process of implementing a strict morning and night routine complete with double cleansing, moisturizing, vitamin c serums, peels, daily masks, and upping my water intake.

Reading Goals

I have a moderate sized and eccentric book collection that surprisingly fits in my closet shelf next to my purse collection. In my collection there are titles on the history of bohemians, art of seduction, hostessing for the modern woman, gardening, herbs A-Z, baking in America, history of spices, African American history, and novels of all sorts. However a good portion of these books are unread and sadly untouched. I unfortunately have that tragic habit of buying an intriguing book based on its subject or synopsis but never making the plans to actually read the book in it's entirety. This year I intend on correcting that tragic habit by reading all the books already in my collection and the necessary books on my pinterest list. The books I deem necessary on my pinterest list are to further my self improvement goals and become further well read. For every month I will have a streamlined book reading list that subjects will cover strategy, relationships, self-improvement, and biographies.

On Building Confidence

Where Does One Gain Confidence?

I am a self professed introvert with a bit of extrovert tendencies. What does that mean exactly? It means I crave solitude and I'm revitalized by my own energy, as in not the energy of others. In fact, I delight in my own solitude for days on end by diving into the world of books, surfing the internet, writing in my notebook, or just baking in the kitchen by myself. However, that alone time tends to distort my frame of mind so I have to actively push myself to socialize with others. When I do this,  I find myself  amongst others. I'm electrified by the energies of family and friends and by the engaging and nourishing conversations I have with them. However I do best with small groups of people, perhaps a group number of no more than five or six; if it is any larger I tend to feel anxious, jittery, and full of nerves. My personality by nature is reserved and observant until I can find common interest with someone. It did take a long time for me to become comfortable around strangers and people I'm not familiar with. Especially given that I genuinely prefer my own solitude. So how did I actually get to that place of comfort meets confidence.

Knowing Who You Are

One of the biggest confidence builders I find is knowing who you are as a person. It took me quite some years to come to a place of being at ease with my own personhood. My high school experience was mentally draining and extremely taxing on my emotions, with the first few years of college following a similar pattern. It was not until I recently found my footing, that I can say I am in love with my own personhood. I have come a long way from my teenage self and now have become more refined, observant, and more in control of my emotional state. With that being said, I have come to the realization that when you know yourself the confidence just exudes from within and you fashion an aura of a woman just content in being. Knowing who you are is knowing where you stand in the world, what you contribute, and why you matter. Well what if you do not know yourself as of yet? What if you are still wandering in search of her? I say "fake it till you make it!' If you are unsure of yourself spend time alone and just practice self-love and becoming a better version of yourself. Practicing self-love can be a daily habit of journaling, exercising, tending to a garden, reading for knowledge and nourishment, and taking up a new hobby such as baking. I also think being self critical and taking note of  your strengths and weaknesses is crucial to knowing who you are as a person.

Smiling is Not a Sign of weakness but Rather a Sign of Strength

On building confidence. In an earlier blog post I raved about the Smile of a Carefree Black Girl. A smile on a woman is like seeing a lovely flower blossom. Smiling is one of the ways to building confidence and is an invitation which lets others know how open you are. No not the fake unauthentic smiling like some people do in pictures but rather the lit from within smile. So I smile when I see someone nearby. I smile when I make small small talk. I smile when I greet strangers. I smile when it rains. I smile when I'm thinking to myself and I smile at the end of the day knowing I can just shush the worries of the day away with a snuggle in the comfort of my own bed. I'm not suggesting to smile when there are other emotions you are legitimately wanting to express. However, smiling really does ease you into a better mood. If smiling daily does not come naturally I would suggest thinking of the last compliment a stranger expressed to you. Consistently remind yourself of how that one compliment made you feel inside.






Songs that help with Confidence Building:

• Whatever Lola Wants by Nina Simone
• Winner by the Noisettes  
• I'm Madonna by Madonna
• You Want This by Janet Jackson 
• Champion by Buju Banton 
• Milkshake by Kelis

22 Things I Would Tell My Younger Self

I'm just now coming into myself and adjusting from my teenage frame of mind to an adult frame of mind. In fact I'm still trying figure out the steps to proper adulting. Every so often I reflect on my life and think, man I wish I knew this earlier, or I wish I would have done this better. So now looking back here are twenty-two things I would tell my younger self if I could acquire a time machine and transport back to the age of... 16

 














   1. It's not your business what people think of you
   2. Wasted potential is one of the saddest things to witness
   3. If you keep saying tomorrow it may never come
   4. Being an introvert is okay
   5. Don't burn your bridges and always keep contacts refreshed

     6. Journaling daily is one the best ways to become a better writer and a better you
     7. Own your decisions completely
     8. Never forget that feeling is always temporary
     9. Document everything, the good the bad and the ugly
    10.Procrastination will become your worst habit to break if you are not careful

    11. Saving money is a habit you want to obsessively stick with 
    12. Other people cannot make you happy only you can
    13. You have twenty-four hours in a day like everyone else, make the best of it
    14. Always write down your ideas and thoughts no matter how silly
    15. Driving is not as scary as it seems





    16. You have to nurture your friendships
    17. If a boy doesn't like you it's not the end of the world, I promise
    18. Prepare to be sad... alot but what you do with that pool of sadness is where your creativity    
    breaks through
    19. Art is a skill you must continuously foster if not your skills set will always remain amateurish
    20. Research skincare and haircare, your future self will thank you




   21. Take a few tech classes and pick up some coding skills
   22. Explore the library more and read up on as many books as you can
   23. Beware of charming men
   24. Always be prepared for that possible opportunity
   25. Loving someone and loving the idea of someone are two different things

Please comment below and tell me 5 things of what you would tell your younger self.

That Girl Challenge Update

Sooooo I started the That Girl Challenge nearly two years ago with a nice list of what I hope to accomplish in this challenge. Well I will surely admit that it was a total bust. But it's a new start and a new year... I am still young and can turn things around. So here is my update to my that girl challenge and how I go about accomplishing this. 

Skincare Game on Point

Skincare Products

Cleanse (Aveeno Foaming Cleanser)

Toner (Rosewater)

Serum (Snail Bee High Content Essence)

Moisturizer (Cetaphil Daily Moisturizer)

Fade Cream (Ambi Fade Cream,Vicco Turmeric Cream)

Sunblock (Nuetrogena Ultrasheer 30+ Sunblock)

Occasionally exfoliate (Alba Botanica Scrub)

My Skincare routine is tailored to adjust all my skincare needs. All products are to help erase my dark acne scars, even and brighten my skin tone, and provide a youthful glow. So the basic skincare routine is to cleanse, tone the skin, use a serum for evening and brightening, a moisturizer to seal and provide supple skin, fade cream to fade dark scars and evening the skin. Sunblock as a last step, to protect the skin from the damaging effects of sun rays. 

I'm Painting My Face

Makeup Arsenal

Primer (Black Radiance Primer)

Foundation (Lancome Teint Idole Ultra 24hr)

Powder (Too Faced Pressed Powder)

Blush (Wet n Wild Mellow Pink)

Contour kit (Sleek, optional)

Eyeliner (Wet n Wild Liquid Eyeliner)

Mascara (Maybelline Colossal Volume Express) 

Lip liner (Mac Cork Lipliner)

Lipstick  (Nude/Revlon Mink Pink)

For the past few years I've been trying out different brands of foundation and powders and experimenting with my makeup techniques. I'v settled into a nice set look and I seem to be receiving compliments all the time from family and friends. I like to call my makeup addiction face painting or putting on my face in the morning, LOL. It's a wonderful art form that adds a touch of luxury to my morning rituals. My everyday makeup routine is a uniform look I've perfected to achieve the look of nice skin and bright big eyes. I use foundation to even my skin tone and conceal my dark marks. For my eyes I create a thin winged line for eyeliner and volumizing mascara to create larger doll like eyes. I just started dabbling in blush and contour powders and I just have to say how much I love these powders as they bring so much life to the face. Pink blush makes my cheeks really rosy and contour powder helps to sculpt my baby cheeks.

Haircare Game on Point

Haircare

Prepoo overnight coconut oil (irregular)

Shampoo twice twice a week

Deep condition protein/moisture twice a week

Moisturize and seal every two or three days

My hair has definitely come a long way, but boy have I had some serious setbacks. I want to say with definite confidence heat is the devil but we are still good friends. So I have just come to terms that I use heat sparingly and I will purchase only high end quality straighteners. I've recently found a set hairstyle that fits my oval face graciously. Half up ponytail half down twistout with a side part of bangs (twists). Side part bangs frame my face really well more so than no bangs. I sometimes change my hair products and try out new ones but I do have a few holy grail items that I keep in regular rotation. Holy grail status: Organics Hair Mayonnaise, Coconut Oil, Aussie Moist Deeep Conditioner, and Shea Moisture Shea Butter Conditioner

 Developing Personal Style 

Nine West Open Toe Heeled Ballet Flats

I have finally found my balance between under dressed and overdressed; it's all about the shoes and the lips. In the last few years I began to cultivate a sense of personal style. I have my new go to flats that are not too casual or too dressy but works for almost any event. Just like with my beauty routine my fashion starts with the basics that compliments my figure and style. In partaking upon that girl challenge I've discovered my own personal style that reflects my personality. My style is classic, chic with whimsical notes and I always go for feminine pieces. My body shape is straight so I steer towards outfits that accentuate my waist and I overly indulge in dresses and skirts more than anything. I tend to gravitate towards solid colors, a few prints, mostly neutral colors or one bright statement piece, flare dresses, a line skirts, and kitten heels. 

In keeping up with that girl challenge, I will be updating once a week. Let me know below in the comments if you want beauty and fashion pictures included everytime. Kind of like Oufit Of The Day (OOTD) and Face Of The Day (FOTD)

That Alternative Black Girl

To the gamer Black girls who love playing an intense games of the Walking Dead, Mortal Kombat, and the Legend of Selda I see you.
To the Black girls who dance and jam to alternative music, bounces her head to Bloc Party, sings along to Sia, and dances to electronic dance music circa 90s cue Enigma, I see you.
To the Black girls who love all things gardening in her house building a homestead, on her apartment balcony, or on her back porch area of her trailer. She delights in pickling food,  preserving them in jellies and sugars, and selling them bottled in mason jars in the farmer market, I see you.
To the Black girl learning something other than French or Spanish like Arabic, Swahili, or Chinese, because well... there are many more languages outside of English, Spanish, and French okay...I see you and salute you.
To the Black girl who was a badass skater girl well before Avril Lavigne made it popular in her song, I see you and I wish you could teach me how to skate.
To the Black girl who's a free spirit lighting the soy candles in her bedroom and reading poetry books by Rumi and Pablo Neruda, I see you and I enjoy reading my poetry early in the morning.
To the Black girl who's fond of kpop and can sing all the words to Wonder Girls "So Hot" with a slight Korean accent, I see and hear you and will sing right along with you.
To the Black girl who who flirts with any nice boy who tickles her fancy, dates whomever she wants, and marries her hearts love because its in her best interest to do so, I see you. I see you and applaud you for being in your own self interest and not in the interest of others... I see you my sister and I welcome you with open arms and an open heart of love.

       

                

                          

What Comes First...

What comes first race, gender, nationality, or religion? After first place is filled, what falls into second place, third, and last? However you order these labels numerically gives a clue into who you are as a person and whom you give your allegiance to.When I first came across this question I mulled it over and reflected on the labels earnestly for some time. Originally this question began with only race, gender, and nationality as identity labels. However I included religion due to religion being an immensely crucial identity label for most people.

Self-preservation is the first law of nature. It is universal amongst all living organisms and a hallmark of life. In enacting self-preservation mode it should be noted BLIND allegiance to any label, movement, or identity refutes the basic premise of self-presevation. So the answer to the question above, what identity label comes first... yourself. Yourself should come first before any social label you personally give yourself. I understand my answer to this question may sound a bit sarcastic or "above it all" because well 'yourself' is not presented as a choice in the question. However an inquistive person determines when to bend the rules and think outside the small box :)

Now in understanding social order, I am aware that other people tend to see the labels of gender, race, nationality, and religion first over individual identity. Therefore I choose gender as my second identity. Anything else in identity is of a lesser degree of importance to me. That is how i have always operated ad it as served me well. My allegiance is to myself as an indivual person and then as a woman.

I have a right to exist and so do you. Even more so you have a right to a lofty and well lived exsistence. Its imperative that you place your needs and wants first before giving any BLIND allegiance to anything or anyone else. Self-preservation is about honoring yourself first. Your identity as YOURSELF is more crucial than any other identity in regards to self-preservation. What say you... what identity label do you rank in order of importance? Did you rank yourself first before any other identity?

Treat Yourself to a Little Bit of Magic

In continuation with my self-love and self-investment journey. I implemented a new routine for my everyday morning. Now this routine came about when I started to overhaul my bedroom clearing all clutter and rearranging the bedroom decor. I decided to move my routine of This routine of primping and preening in my bedroom rather than the bathroom. Usually I would apply my skincare, sunscreen, makeup, and fix up my hair. All while standing in bathroom over the sink. Now once I finish my skincare and apply my sunscreen to the bedroom vanity I go...
and treat myself to a little bit of magic :)


Bedroom vanities in particular, gives the process of beautification a luxurious and glamorous feel for a woman. Every morning I awaken and after my morning routine of hygiene and skincare in the bathroom, I head towards the bedroom for my morning vanity time. Vanity time continues the self love experience because I am pampering my outer self and indulging in a ritual of feminine elegance.



There are various ways to style one's vanity. The main stays in the decor of a vanity usually includes:

•    Glass bottles of perfume
•    Container to hold jewelry
•    Simple vase of flowers
•    Container for makeup     
•    products
•    A Framed photograph
•    Vanity mirror

For my own vanity I have certain preferences. I use nicely decorated ceramic containers for my jewelry and makeup. Lovely glass bottles for perfume, and freshly cut flowers over artificial plastic flowers. I do my best to stay away from plastic as I prefer glass or ceramic as these two give a more luxurious feel. Of course nicely stained wood is nice as well for the vanity itself. Now to give the feeling of elegance and bits of luxury for your vanity this formula goes as follows. Apply the three senses of touch, sight, and smell:

Sense of Touch by applying various oils, creams, and powders for the hair and skin.

Sense of Smell by spraying a light cloud of fragrance
from perfume bottles.

Sense of Sight by preening in front of a mirror with adornments
 like pearl earrings or a nice gold hair piece.

Daily Habit of Journaling

"An unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates

Recording your life on paper eternalizes your essence. You are saying to the world and to yourself that you matter. Though your body now decayed, your thoughts live on forever. With that being said journaling also directly forces you to examine your life. By journaling you are having an inner dialogue with yourself that you can reflect on every time you open your journal. 

I will be journaling early in the morning before the sun rises. This will help me to clear my conscious and evaluate my life more effectively. I can not possibly think of a better way to start the day than to have a warm cup of tea, soothing music or just silence, and a pen to eternalize my thoughts to paper. Since I have a few books to spare I will use 3 noteboks. One book for a free hand thoughts, one book for weekly reflections and improvements, and another journal for quotes/affirmations/gratitude thoughts that resonate with me.

Positive effects of journaling:

• becoming more self aware
• helping to understand your own point of view 
• help recover from emotional turmoil
• record daily happenings
• your creativity 
• writing becomes more effortless 
• improve mental clarity and self-esteem

Different Types of Journals:

• personal growth (self-love )
• dream records
• gratitude book
• free hand 
• travel journal

That Girl Challenge

That Girl Challenge:                                           

"You are the finest,loveliest, tenderest,and most beautifulperson I have ever known -and even thatis an understatement."- F. Scott Fitzergerald

I truly believe in feeling wonderful everyday if you want to be productive everyday. The old saying goes if you look good you feel good. So with that said I joined a thread around January on a forum I frequent called That Girl Challenge. The premise of the challenge revolves around being THAT Girl. Well who is that girl one must ask? For me personally, that girl is ... one who looks well put together everyday. She has a long lovey and soft mane of hair, with subtle to moderately applied but effective makeup that compliments her features, and perfectly painted nails everyday. She is that girl who knows when to wear the right clothes at the right time for the right occasion. She inherently believes in the phrase "Dressing well is just good manners". That girl is also very well poised, elegant, and generally just graceful all around.

Now please don't get me wrong I believe That Girl isn't only radiantly beautiful on the outside but beautiful and highly knowledgeable on the inside. That Girl is well versed on current, past, and future events and world history. From my standpoint That Girl respects and I curious of other cultures and their histories and politics. She delights in acquiring new knowledge whether it relates to her studies or not. That girl is just all around polished on all levels: beauty, brains, and all. On my blog I will update weekly on my That Girl Challenge. Stay tuned ^_^
                                                                                                                                                                 

That Girl is... Pretty, feminine, and angelic like.

That Girl is...Lovely, beautiful, and always alluring

That Girl is...has a great skincare regimen
 with attention to natural and modern techniques

 

That Girl is... has luscious, soft, bouncy, and springy natural curls and kinks

   

That Girl is...has a marvelous sense of fashion

That Girl is...is Healthy & Fit Shape

                       

                                    That Girl is... has glowing, youthful, even toned brown skin

"How a Woman Walks" - Zora Howard

"Walk Like a Woman, did with the suns of a nation complacent in the crook of your neck." - Zora Howard.

Zora Howard is a Black American writer, spoken word poet, and activist with roots in Harlem, New York. Ms. Howard I believe has given phenomenal contributions to modern American poetry and writing. Ms. Howard is also the youngest NYC Youth Poet Laureate.

At some point in my last years of high school I discovered Zora Howard's spoken word performances on YouTube, stumbling upon her video "Walking" as an introduction to her. Mind you when I found her spoken word videos in high school she was only a few years older than me, but her words and voice commanded an age that was far beyond who I saw on the video. Ms.Howard's poetry is heart tugging, engaging, and is heavily sprinkled with biting metaphors that linger in my head for hours on end. I IMPLORE YOU to to set aside time to watch her videos without any distractions. I find my favorite spoken word video by Ms.Howard to be Walking. I can replay that particular video over and over without any hesitation. Every time I hear Zora Howard perform her spoken word piece Walking I want to reach out to every black woman and man and just simply bring them closer towards me and simply hug them. Ms. Howard speaks on everything I have always felt and spoke on but says it with such power and her voice commands great attention.

The main reason I want to show people this particular video are for these lines in particular that really spoke to me.

• Every night since I was nine my daddy told me I really was an angel 
• He mad me promise to always walk like a woman did,
• Carry your divinity in your chin, and try not to trip, walk hard little angel 
• If you lifted your eyes from her breasts maybe you would see your sister in her face and hear her heart trying to break free
• Teach them how to soldiers but never fathers
• We teach them how to be gangstas but when are they going to find time how to dream

Little Black girls you all are angels, every single one of you. Every little girl deserves to be told she is an angel, especially by her father or any other prominent male figure in her life. She deserves the showering kisses of love and attention from her father. As women I truly believe we carry our divinity in our chin as 

Ms.Howard says. Black women and Black men we deserve better, so much better. However this post I want to really speak to Black women when I say this: Promise to always walk like a woman did ... and carry your divinity in your chin.